Overcoming An Addiction

I have done a lot of thinking about overcoming an addiction lately.

Having kicked a few addictions already I have had lots of moments of introspection, trying to figure out how it all works, and whether the best way to kick one drug is the same as the best way to kick another.

Overcoming An Addiction: Cigarettes

I smoked cigarettes for almost 13 years. In that time I made many quit attempts, but they were all unsuccessful. When I read Allen Carr’s The Easy Way to Stop Smoking in 2004, I kicked it for good, and not only was it EASY, it was also one of the most pleasurable and empowering things I had ever done.

Overcoming An Addiction: Recreational Drugs

Overcoming an addiction to recreational drugs was almost too easy. I used cocaine, ecstasy, speed, marijuana, the usual suspects. Jaye has never used any of those drugs (other than marijuana for a couple of years as a teenager) and absolutely never would.

After we got together I continued to use drugs for a while, but since he never joined me when I did this, I soon started to see the drug use through his eyes, and so I quit them too. It was TOO easy.

Overcoming An Addiction: Stimulants

Overcoming an addiction to caffeine and all other stimulants was also too easy. Having quit cigarettes my confidence in overcoming an addiction was pretty high and I knew I just had to change the way I thought about it, and then rejoice in the symptoms of the drug leaving my body. So I did this, got my little caffeine headache, felt a little fatigued and then....it was over.

Overcoming An Addiction: Alcohol

Overcoming an addiction to alcohol was the hardest one to do.

Alcohol is SO pervasive in our society and we are so brainwashed to believe that a few drinks equals a good time, that I was truly terrified to ‘sacrifice’ what I considered to be a true pleasure.

Humans are motivated by the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain

I have been listening to a lot of Anthony Robbins lately, and he discusses what motivates our decisions. This has been very enlightening to me in thinking about how some are successful in overcoming an addiction and others seem powerless over it.

I had such STRONG brainwashing attaching pleasure and FUN to alcohol, that I could not imagine my life without it.

So instead of quitting while I still felt that way, I instead transitioned out of alcohol use. For two years I observed myself as a drinker, I watched other drinkers, I became hyper aware of the downsides and more and more aware that there was just NO upside and NO pleasure.

Gradually I started to associate MORE pain to alcohol THAN pleasure.

I would often announce to myself and to Jaye during these two years that I had quit drinking completely, but within a couple of hours I would start to question my decision and would usually qualify that statement with something like ‘I’m not saying I’ll NEVER have another drink or anything, maybe if I was at such and such a place on the beach and they happened to have a cold Savannah I would have it.'

The pleasure association that I attached to a cold cider or champagne at a nightclub was too pervasive, EVEN faced with the pain association of hangovers and depression that was starting to click into place for me.

One day, the pain associations were just STRONGER than the pleasure associations. And now I look at alcohol and see NOTHING BUT PAIN. I don't see any pleasure at all. So of course, now it is the easiest thing in the world to be a non drinker.

Overcoming An Addiction: Transitioning

Transitioning in many cases is CRUCIAL, as it allows us to make those highly important connections linking pain to the action instead of pleasure, and thereby making it possible to quit.

We can't quit anything by will power alone, as will power ALWAYS runs out!

We quit by attaching more PAIN to the action then pleasure.

If you see a bar of chocolate and think no further than a delicious pleasure sensation in your mouth, then you are helpless to resist that chocolate.

If on the other hand you look at chocolate and see obesity and all the pain associated with being obese, then you don't see pleasure you see pain!

When you are avoiding pain, it is super easy not to do it! That way you get more pleasure out of NOT EATING IT, then eating it!

Overcoming An Addiction - Consciously choosing where you associate pain and pleasure

Advertisers understand all too well how to attach pleasure to their products.

If you are living unconsciously, you're just like a puppet being directed to consume, oh chocolate - pleasure pleasure pleasure, alcohol - pleasure pleasure pleasure.

When you become conscious of this, you can CHOOSE where you link pain and where you link pleasure. You can then DECIDE how to look at things.

It might not be instant, the brainwashing might be strong, but you can transition your way out of using something by associating pain to it while using it.

For example, I have NO difficulty AT ALL in resisting chocolate. The chocolate aisle in the supermarket might as well be dog turds for how much interest I have in it. However, a few years ago I could not resist chocolate and I thought about it A LOT!

So what changed?

I became vegan and consciously began to associate animal suffering and torture with dairy and therefore chocolate made with dairy.

If I think of eating chocolate I associate STRONG pain to the action, not just of the animals, but for me, as I know how TERRIBLE I would feel in my conscience if I had to eat that, knowing what I know about the dairy industry.

Therefore I get a lot of PLEASURE from NOT eating chocolate, and I avoid a lot of pain.

You can choose to do this with anything in your life, and it is a great way of overcoming an addiction.

When you look at coffee, instead of seeing what a wonderful pick-me-up it is, instead start to associate your disturbed sleep, your bad breath, your discolored teeth, your anxiety, your ever increasing fatigue, all this PAIN, to the coffee.

You'll be so keen to dump coffee from your life you won't understand what anyone is talking about when they say it's hard to give it up!